so that wasnt chicken after all
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
