idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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