I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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