You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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