Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
