Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
