I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Sober January is a disaster.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
