perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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