Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
