Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
