Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
no you cant smoke seaweed
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
