he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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