Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You don't make any sense
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