Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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