Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
