I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
