I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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