I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
