Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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