i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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