So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think your dad took our porno
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
