I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
