You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
