oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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