So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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