The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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