I think my vagina is haunted
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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