He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I have post one night stand depression
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