I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
