if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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