So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
