Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
