we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
