I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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