God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
