how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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