she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
