RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
