so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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