Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
