wat bout pragnant strippers??
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think people are normalizing furries
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
