508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
