I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
