I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
