But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
