And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
