I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
