i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
