He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My ass is underappreciated
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
