i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Terrible idea I love it
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
