That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
