when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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