whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
