she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So squirting runs in the family.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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