it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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