You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
