She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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