I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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