So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
