I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
