I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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